The first leg of the journey has begun: Pre-departure orientation in D.C. I flew out of Lynchburg (the world's finest airport, of course) Wednesday morning, stopped in Charlotte long enough to run to the farthest gate possible and barely make my flight before getting up to D.C. I was a little sad on the plane but was mostly distracted by the man across from me who insisted on explaining Sudoko to the woman next to him. Out loud. The entire plane ride.
So I wiped my tears, landed at Reagan and caught a cab to the hotel. I hadn't eaten since breakfast so I stopped at Starbucks for some coffee and then started meeting people with the program in the lobby. We had a couple of hours to kill before anything started, so we just sat around making small talk. Then we got our stipend and the program directors welcomed us before they set us free in the city for dinner. A few of us went to California Pizza Kitchen and it was nice being in a smaller group so we could get to know each other more. We wanted to walk around the monuments after dinner but it was monsooning out so I called Jake and went to bed early.
We had meetings all day today. They were pretty helpful- some previous program participants and the program leaders, lots of Q&A time so I guess I feel a little more informed about what's actually going on. We also had the Assistant Deputy (Bureau of Educational Affairs) from the State Department speak. She was recently appointed and brought greetings from Secretary Clinton. We have a little time now before they take us to dinner.
I'm getting pretty nervous about the fact that I'm actually getting on a plane to go to China tomorrow. Especially since they briefed us about H1N1 and the procedures of making sure no one is sick once we get there. I'm praying no one from our group comes up as having a fever when they check us on the plane; if so we will be quarantined in a Chinese hospital! Besides that concern, I'm very nervous about the language pledge. My Chinese language skill has decreased drastically over the past year when I haven't been studying. I hope that it comes back quickly! It will be very challenging not speaking English all summer, but then I remembered today that God is the one who designed languages, including Chinese, and He can give me the ability to understand and speak even though I feel entirely inadequate.
But I'm also very excited about being in China! It's been five years since I was there, and I have a list of things I want to do while I'm there. I love lists! Here it is (in no particular order):
1. Find the Chinese/Japanese movie Lauren and I were in
2. Eat as much hamigua as possible. I don't know the English word, but it's my favorite fruit in the world and I miss it.
3. Be able to do a journal entry entirely in Chinese before I leave. I think that will be a true test of my improvement, especially character writing
4. Learn to chill and not be so schedule-oriented and uptight. I don't really know anything about what's going on so it will be good for me to learn to be more laid back and not such a control freak.
5. Feel the presence of God each moment of the day as I may be lonely and need to continue to lean on Him for strength
6. Eat only one Magnum bar per week, as opposed to 5 a day like last time I was in China
7. Get my hair washed and head massaged at the amazing beauty salons
8. Visit the Garden of the Humble Administrator. It's supposedly gorgeous.
9. Not get sick at all! I hate being sick when I am away from home and I am scared of hospitals
10. Take full advantage of this experience and not slack off because I am tired, frustrated, homesick, or mentally exhausted
I will think of more as the days go by I'm sure. The next time I write will probably be from China! (Even if we get quarantined I will be able to update the blog, because the quarantine clinic is equipped with phone and internet. Isn't that comforting?)
Friday, June 5, 2009
Monday, June 1, 2009
A Very Good Place to Start
So I'm going to China in three days and will be updating about my adventures while there, but I thought I should back up to the beginning of this whole process because it's been so cool to see how the Lord has worked throughout it.
Back in September I began looking at study abroad options for the fall of 2009, knowing I needed to go to China to finish up my Chinese language credits. While doing so, I came across the U.S. State Department's Critical Language Scholarships for Intensive Summer Institutes. They offer language programs in eleven critical need languages around the world, and the State Department pays for everything. Of course I was like sweet I want to do this and immediately created an account to apply for the program. Over the next couple of weeks I worked on the application some, but my excitement began dwindling because of how extensive the application process was and how competitive the selection process was. I tend to be a realist (okay, a pessimist), and knowing that I was up against students all across the U.S. made me realize how slim the chances were that I would be accepted. So I decided to give up and never turn in my application.
Since the beginning of the semester I had been praying about what I should do for the next school year and asking God for direction. Even after I quit the CLS application, I kept praying and continued researching different programs. I wanted to be open to whatever the Lord had in store. The first week of November I began feeling that the Lord wanted me to apply for the summer CLS program and trust Him with the results. It seemed silly because I knew there was no way I would actually get in, and I had done hardly any of the application in September. But I felt a strong pull and wanted to obey. So here it was November and the application was due November 14. I had to go to professors and ask them to write letters of recommendation for me within the next 10 days. Ugh. I was that student. But they were gracious and sent in letters. I finished my four essays and did my best rating my Chinese language skill in every imaginable way possible. I finished everything and submitted the application at 5 PM November 14. Then came the hard part: waiting.
The CLS website said all applicants would be notifed of their application status by late March. In early February I starting logging into my account practically every day, just in case they notified us early. In all those months I continued praying that the Lord's will would be done and that I would be at peace with it. Sometimes I prayed I would be accepted into the program, but mostly I just prayed for direction because I didn't know why God had wanted me to apply for something that I had such a small chance of being accepted into. The applications weer all reviewed by language experts, and then the high-ranking applications (about one-third) were reviewed by a national panel before participants were to be recommended by the U.S. State Department. It was hard knowing the tough process my application was going through, but at the same time I kept reminding myself at least I would get a clear yes or not out of all of it.
March came and I started getting OCD about checking my email and my application status. At this point I just wanted an answer, any answer; I was just sick of waiting. The first day I was in California for spring break I got an email notifying me that I was an alternate for the program. I screamed because I was so shocked, but then I was just disappointed I had to keep waiting. I didn't even know being an alternate was an option. As soon as I read the email I really wanted to be accepted. I was questioning why the Lord wanted me to keep waiting; then I realized that maybe this was His way of letting me know that my application was still somewhat competitive, and that in itself was a blessing from Him. While we were in Cali I was reading through Jeremiah, and God kept showing me verses that spoke so directly to my situation and began taking away the doubts in my mind.
Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you..." Believing that God knows His plan for my life, regardless of whether or not I know it, should be enough to give me complete peace in waiting on Him.
Jeremiah 32:40-41 "And I will make an everlasting covenant with them: I will never stop doing good for them. I will put a desire in their hearts to worship me, and they will never leave me. I will find joy in doing good for them..." It's difficult for me to believe that God does have good things in store for me, especially when I think I know what is good for me. But the truth is that His plan is good for me, because His plan is perfect. And no matter where I am for the summer or what I'm doing, my desire to should be to worship Him above all else.
Jeremiah 42:3 "Pray that the Lord your God will show you what to do and where to go." I had been praying for four months afte submitting my application, and I still had no answers. But I needed to be faithful to continue asking the Lord for direction.
Jeremiah 42:6 "Whether we like it or not, we will obey the Lord our God to whom we are sending you with our plea. For if we obey him, everything will turn out well for us." Verse after verse was just confirming to me that I needed to continue seeking the Lord and His direction and be faithful in obeying, whether or not it was my plan or my first choice.
I knew I was supposed to find out around April 15 if I had a spot or not in the program. It was a long month checking my email about 95749 times a day. About two weeks after I got the alternate status notification, I decided I did not want to go at all. I am fickle, but I was so relieved that I hadn't gotten in because being gone for an entire summer and coming home for a week before turning around and going back to China for the fall semester did not sound appealing to me at all. But I kept praying for clear direction and a surrendered spirit to obey the Lord. The week before Easter came and I began sensing guidance from the Lord that if I was accepted into the program, I would go. I didn't feel I would be a good steward if I passed up an incredible opportunity like this one.
April 15 dame and went and I heard nothing. I thought for sure I wasn't in, but I wanted a confirmation email. By Friday afternoon I still hadn't heard anything, and I told Megan in discipleship I definitely wasn't going. I took my accountability girls to Lynchburg for the weekend, and as we were hanging out late Friday night I decided to check my email one more time just in case. Bingo there was a notification in my inbox. I clicked, my eyes saw the words "Dear Sherri, Congratulations!", and the tears started flowing. And let me tell you they were not tears of joy. I had told God I would go if I got in, but I still really didn't want to go. I finally got a hold of my parents in Florida and then cried again, saying I would probably go but I didn't really want to.
It was cool how the timing was such that I was home, but my parents weren't, so I couldn't talk things over with them. I had to let the State Department know by Monday, so I didn't really get to talk to anyone about it but Jesus. I had to go straight to Him and pour our my fears and worries and lay it all at His feet, just praying for confirmed direction. Over and over again I thought about Jeremiah 42:6 "whether I like it or not", because I definitely was not liking the idea of going. Finally Sunday afternoon I decided that yes I was going. It was hard because it was the first time I had made a really big decision with just me and God, and not really much input from my parents. But at the same time I had such peace knowing I was obeying God and was sure this was His plan for me.
It was also cool because the whole week prior to find out I got in I had been praying that the Lord would teach me how to be completely satisifed in Him alone. This entire summer I have to speak in only Chinese, which means the only One who I can pour my heart out to in English is Jesus. I know no one going, I will be incredibly busy and stressed with studying, and I will be quite lonely at times, but Jesus will be with me. And Jesus is enough. He really is the only One I will have, and I can't think of a better (although difficult) way to learn how to depend on and be entirely satisfied in God alone.
So that is the story (albeit long) of how I got myself into this adventure. Not all of my posts will be this long, don't worry!
Back in September I began looking at study abroad options for the fall of 2009, knowing I needed to go to China to finish up my Chinese language credits. While doing so, I came across the U.S. State Department's Critical Language Scholarships for Intensive Summer Institutes. They offer language programs in eleven critical need languages around the world, and the State Department pays for everything. Of course I was like sweet I want to do this and immediately created an account to apply for the program. Over the next couple of weeks I worked on the application some, but my excitement began dwindling because of how extensive the application process was and how competitive the selection process was. I tend to be a realist (okay, a pessimist), and knowing that I was up against students all across the U.S. made me realize how slim the chances were that I would be accepted. So I decided to give up and never turn in my application.
Since the beginning of the semester I had been praying about what I should do for the next school year and asking God for direction. Even after I quit the CLS application, I kept praying and continued researching different programs. I wanted to be open to whatever the Lord had in store. The first week of November I began feeling that the Lord wanted me to apply for the summer CLS program and trust Him with the results. It seemed silly because I knew there was no way I would actually get in, and I had done hardly any of the application in September. But I felt a strong pull and wanted to obey. So here it was November and the application was due November 14. I had to go to professors and ask them to write letters of recommendation for me within the next 10 days. Ugh. I was that student. But they were gracious and sent in letters. I finished my four essays and did my best rating my Chinese language skill in every imaginable way possible. I finished everything and submitted the application at 5 PM November 14. Then came the hard part: waiting.
The CLS website said all applicants would be notifed of their application status by late March. In early February I starting logging into my account practically every day, just in case they notified us early. In all those months I continued praying that the Lord's will would be done and that I would be at peace with it. Sometimes I prayed I would be accepted into the program, but mostly I just prayed for direction because I didn't know why God had wanted me to apply for something that I had such a small chance of being accepted into. The applications weer all reviewed by language experts, and then the high-ranking applications (about one-third) were reviewed by a national panel before participants were to be recommended by the U.S. State Department. It was hard knowing the tough process my application was going through, but at the same time I kept reminding myself at least I would get a clear yes or not out of all of it.
March came and I started getting OCD about checking my email and my application status. At this point I just wanted an answer, any answer; I was just sick of waiting. The first day I was in California for spring break I got an email notifying me that I was an alternate for the program. I screamed because I was so shocked, but then I was just disappointed I had to keep waiting. I didn't even know being an alternate was an option. As soon as I read the email I really wanted to be accepted. I was questioning why the Lord wanted me to keep waiting; then I realized that maybe this was His way of letting me know that my application was still somewhat competitive, and that in itself was a blessing from Him. While we were in Cali I was reading through Jeremiah, and God kept showing me verses that spoke so directly to my situation and began taking away the doubts in my mind.
Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you..." Believing that God knows His plan for my life, regardless of whether or not I know it, should be enough to give me complete peace in waiting on Him.
Jeremiah 32:40-41 "And I will make an everlasting covenant with them: I will never stop doing good for them. I will put a desire in their hearts to worship me, and they will never leave me. I will find joy in doing good for them..." It's difficult for me to believe that God does have good things in store for me, especially when I think I know what is good for me. But the truth is that His plan is good for me, because His plan is perfect. And no matter where I am for the summer or what I'm doing, my desire to should be to worship Him above all else.
Jeremiah 42:3 "Pray that the Lord your God will show you what to do and where to go." I had been praying for four months afte submitting my application, and I still had no answers. But I needed to be faithful to continue asking the Lord for direction.
Jeremiah 42:6 "Whether we like it or not, we will obey the Lord our God to whom we are sending you with our plea. For if we obey him, everything will turn out well for us." Verse after verse was just confirming to me that I needed to continue seeking the Lord and His direction and be faithful in obeying, whether or not it was my plan or my first choice.
I knew I was supposed to find out around April 15 if I had a spot or not in the program. It was a long month checking my email about 95749 times a day. About two weeks after I got the alternate status notification, I decided I did not want to go at all. I am fickle, but I was so relieved that I hadn't gotten in because being gone for an entire summer and coming home for a week before turning around and going back to China for the fall semester did not sound appealing to me at all. But I kept praying for clear direction and a surrendered spirit to obey the Lord. The week before Easter came and I began sensing guidance from the Lord that if I was accepted into the program, I would go. I didn't feel I would be a good steward if I passed up an incredible opportunity like this one.
April 15 dame and went and I heard nothing. I thought for sure I wasn't in, but I wanted a confirmation email. By Friday afternoon I still hadn't heard anything, and I told Megan in discipleship I definitely wasn't going. I took my accountability girls to Lynchburg for the weekend, and as we were hanging out late Friday night I decided to check my email one more time just in case. Bingo there was a notification in my inbox. I clicked, my eyes saw the words "Dear Sherri, Congratulations!", and the tears started flowing. And let me tell you they were not tears of joy. I had told God I would go if I got in, but I still really didn't want to go. I finally got a hold of my parents in Florida and then cried again, saying I would probably go but I didn't really want to.
It was cool how the timing was such that I was home, but my parents weren't, so I couldn't talk things over with them. I had to let the State Department know by Monday, so I didn't really get to talk to anyone about it but Jesus. I had to go straight to Him and pour our my fears and worries and lay it all at His feet, just praying for confirmed direction. Over and over again I thought about Jeremiah 42:6 "whether I like it or not", because I definitely was not liking the idea of going. Finally Sunday afternoon I decided that yes I was going. It was hard because it was the first time I had made a really big decision with just me and God, and not really much input from my parents. But at the same time I had such peace knowing I was obeying God and was sure this was His plan for me.
It was also cool because the whole week prior to find out I got in I had been praying that the Lord would teach me how to be completely satisifed in Him alone. This entire summer I have to speak in only Chinese, which means the only One who I can pour my heart out to in English is Jesus. I know no one going, I will be incredibly busy and stressed with studying, and I will be quite lonely at times, but Jesus will be with me. And Jesus is enough. He really is the only One I will have, and I can't think of a better (although difficult) way to learn how to depend on and be entirely satisfied in God alone.
So that is the story (albeit long) of how I got myself into this adventure. Not all of my posts will be this long, don't worry!
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